so incredibly frustrated

Yesterday was supposed to be the best day. It was the end of my crazy working schedule (12/12 days straight of work) and I was pretty exhausted, but looking forward to my three week break between semesters.

I checked my Vanderbilt email around 5:00pm and got an email saying that the nurse practitioner that was going to precept me starting May 18 has packed up and left the state and no one else in their THREE offices is willing to precept. UNBELIEVABLE.

One of the most frustrating things about this program has been finding preceptors. Because Dallas has two other schools that offer a PNP program, it's been really hard to find people to precept because I've been essentially competing with two other programs.

So, I have the very difficult task of finding a preceptor in 3 weeks. Not only finding one, but hoping and praying that their contract goes through with the school.

I spent the majority of last night upset, crying (my eyes look like big puffy disks). I feel like crap, physically- I think I caught something from one of my patients. I know that God is in control and this did not surprise Him, but it surprised me and it is difficult in my heart to not get discouraged and say, "To heck with it all."

So, please be praying that I find someone this week that will precept me. If you have any ideas of people, please pass them along.

After this post, I'm deciding to no longer be frustrated and upset. I can't do anything to change what happened yesterday, but I can go forward and trust that the Lord has other doors that he wants to be opened.